December 18th, 2005
|01:19 pm - THE BIRTHDAY PARTY|
by Liz Rosenberg
Now she can say her age, which she pronounces
carefully, as "tew," sometimes flashing a victory sign.
It's all over by the age of two, claimed J.M. Barrie, in "Peter Pan,"
and such is the invidious nature of great literature that I find
myself looking carefully at her, to see if it's all over,
and if it is, what it was. She seems not to have noticed.
When someone shut out the lights and in the darkness
set her cake on fire, she clung to me harder.
And when we leaned together to blow out the candles
she understood there was magic at work,
for now she keeps blowing at things to see if they will go out.
The dumb mothers and their babies came today
to eat cake, and not one brought a gift for this child,
which offended me, and felt like a mortal wound--
not for the sake of the toys, which are tiresome,
and take up space and are seldom wanted or needed--
but because one brings gifts nearing a threshold,
it quiets the gods.
My own household god broke the coffeepot,
and sent them scurrying back to the walk,
and I'd have tossed pans and cups after them
except I am older than two, it's all over for me,
I have learned to pretend to be polite.
And Lily, little Lily, smiled and waved her hand
blithely, glad to see the company come,
equally glad to see them go--
because she is "happy"--her favorite word--
and because she is two, and mighty.
December 2nd, 2005
November 27th, 2005
There is this cave
In the air behind my body
That nobody is going to touch:
A cloister, a silence
Closing around a blossom of fire.
When I stand upright in the wind,
My bones turn to dark emeralds.
October 1st, 2005
|10:51 pm - LJ lives!|
I haven't really fallen off the face of the earth - I've just been busy and transitioning and I don't have an internet connection available yet in...my new apartment! I am back in Madison - rather, Oregon, just to the south, working at my beloved Firefly Coffeehouse, soaking up caffeinne and adoration on a daily basis. It feels good to work hard again, though I long for days to come when I can make every moment mine again. It's about the balance for me, for now anyway - the balance of giving moments away to people or work or whatever, and keeping moments for yourself.
And now after writing this the inner workings of my mind are on full speed trying to prove and disprove above statement both at once. And what the hell does that really mean?
Will I ever decide to learn how to use words properly?
Hmm. Huh. Hmm...
Love to all!
August 18th, 2005
|01:25 pm - Blow me.|
I went on a bike ride and got my ass kicked by the wind. Now I'm a panting hulk of sweat...
August 10th, 2005
I'm living in Decorah for a week and assisting Kristen Underwood on an Upstart Crow Theatreworks summer class: Mask-Making and Improvisation. We have five beautiful, creative students: Simon, TJ, Kasi, Oren, and Madison.
Class was magical today. We painted our masks (Monday we did the initial face plastering, Tuesday we added features (noses, eyebrows, cheeks...)), played games while they dried, took a snack break - and then it was time. Kristen and I stayed ourselves, while the kids put on the masks and turned into new beings. They were allowed one by one into the bathroom to see themselves in the mirror. A gentle hush came over them as they waited in silent anticipation. When they had each had a turn, they came back into the classroom, and it was time to discover - to learn - to play. TJ was transformed into a big, hulking, stoic 30-something (he informed us later, "I'm in the prime of my life") ready to pit his strength against the world, but hesitating at the world which had become so new around him. Kasi became a mischievious child ("I felt like I was just about 8 years old") who you could tell will grow into quite the prankster. Oren melted into an old man ("Maybe like 80 or so?") whose life had been such that dark corners and quiet places are now places of refuge and comfort - but lemonade is a draught of passion that breathes life and energy back into him! Madison dissoved into a giggle of impish young girlhood, playing and hugging and dancing about vibrantly, all a-chatter. She was the only one to discover her mask name today: Ching.
Kristen let me borrow a book called "IMPRO," by Keith Johnstone, that very much relates to the sort of work we're focusing on this week. I can already feel myself changed by what he has to offer - changed in such a way that I am ever becoming more My self. I finished reading it last night, so I had Johnstone's words and ideas fresh in my mind. But that was nothing compared to seeing it all come to life in class today. I am in awe! And I love this world I'm a part of now...
Current Mood: happy
August 2nd, 2005
Thank you, my friends, for your sympathy and encouragement - things may be rough for awhile in one sense, but how can I resign myself to dejected resignation with such beautiful people in my life to hold me up? I raise my glass to all of you - and note, it's still half-full:)
Current Mood: grateful
August 1st, 2005
|07:55 pm - here's a real update|
"We will be looking at possible assignments for you after the first of the year, in early 2006."
Current Mood: numb
July 14th, 2005
|10:11 pm - P.S.|
I think I've set a record today for Greatest Number of Spoons Used in 12 Hour Period.
|10:03 pm - I am not supposed to get sick.|
Why? Because I'm stronger than that.
Do I come across as stoic? Because sometimes I really am. And I wonder sometimes if it shows or not, and if it does, how much? And when it doesn't, who am I then?
Mul-ti-di-men-shun-ul. (That's for you, Stef, hehe)
I guess I really am just a human being...no Super Woman here for you guys...no rising above it all...just me, in all my faulty-immunal glory!
Mother bitch. I swear, just give me two minutes out back with these germy mc goos...
Current Mood: loopy